


Nut Hunting

by Sorentia



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2017-02-24
Packaged: 2018-09-26 18:59:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9916496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sorentia/pseuds/Sorentia
Summary: From the shadows of the night come the greatest hunter of the undead ever at the call of the Slayer.





	

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Consider the gauntlet picked up.
> 
> A response to TTH Challenge #8496 posted by Oxnate
> 
> Disclaimer: I own neither Marvel Comics or Buffy the Vampire Slayer. All characters are the legal property of their respective owners. I earn nor accept any monetary compensation for my stories.
> 
> Chimichanga's are always accepted.

Buffy watched as Merrick was grabbed around the throat by the ancient vampire. Her watchers gaze never left hers as he continued to beg for her to run. Lothos simply sneered as he drew the large man closer to him, wrapping his free arm around his waist in a twisted mockery of a lovers embrace. Buffy, novice Slayer, felt her stomach lurch, knowing full well what Lothos intended to do if she didn't step in.

“Buffy, run,” Merrick pleaded yet again, his free hand slipping down to the waist of his pants. “You aren't ready for this yet, girl. Run! Get as far away as you can.”

Lothos hissed as he leaned in against Merrick's neck taking a long drawn out breath before meeting the blonde's eyes. “Yes, run little Slayer. It is always so much more sporting when they struggle. I'll even give you a head start,” he said with mock sincerity. “It would only be fitting after all if my new fledgling had the honor of killing his former student.”

Her stomach twisted inside her again as she saw the glint of light off of the steel barrel of Merrick's pistol as he tried to draw it out without Lothos noticing. A flash of recognition hit her and Buffy's eyes shot to her Watchers knowing full well his intent. “Run,” he said one more time, pleading with her.

Buffy stilled herself, shaking her head back and forth like a wet dog shedding water. When she looked back up, her gaze was hardened but bright and shining with a cunning that hadn't been there before. Both men, living and undead, blinked as a small furred shape suddenly appeared on the shoulder of the Slayer, chattering noisily in her ear. Buffy nodded once, then twice, then surprisingly to both men chittered back to the small rodent. It scampered down off her shoulder and vanished from sight as quickly as it had appeared.

“I hate to say it, but you're about to learn why squirrels are the most feared predator in the animal kingdom,” said Buffy with a cheerful yet strangely malevolent tone to her voice.

Lothos blinked in further confusion. Pulling Merrick away from his body but still retaining his grip on the Watcher's throat he spun him around to face him. “What is the child speaking of, Watcher? Squirrels are no predator. Is this some sort of trick? A code perhaps?”

Merrick looked just as confused, twisting to try and look back over his shoulder to his Slayer before muttering, “She's gone completely, nutters.”

“Nope,” Buffy said in response to the barely audible to normal humans utterance, popping the P loudly as she did so. “Just completely nuts! Tippy Toe! Now!”

Suddenly squirrels rose up from the ground, swarming over the ancient vampire. He could feel their teeth biting into his flesh, tearing at his sinew. Their claws, small and tiny were no less sharp as they rent his skin with a hundred thousand tiny cuts. He could feel his blood starting to spill out from him, coating his skin and clothes as the horrid rodent mass crawled over him, covering him from head to toe.

Merrick was promptly forgotten as Lothos turned to attempting to rip and smash and pound the squirrel horde that had swarmed over his body in futility. Each time his hand slammed down where the blighted creatures were, they no longer were there and all his rending claws found was his own flesh. He tore and thrashed for minutes on end before finally, his foot landed on something small, hard, and round in shape. He twisted the wrong way and that small obstacle suddenly became a death trap, Lothos' feet flying out from underneath him and his body ratcheting backward as he lost his balance. He could feel the squirrels scampering away from his back as he fell, cursing that he wouldn't at least crush some of them as he hit the ground.

Merrick watched the display in awe. The swarm of squirrels had come out of nowhere and in only minutes had an ancient vampire falling to the ground. Reaching for a stake he felt it yanked out of his hand as suddenly four squirrels ran down his arm and to the wooden implement. He couldn't help but go slack-jawed as the furred avengers raced underneath the falling vampire, each taking up a position on each side of the stake as they held it point up awaiting the undead monsters impact.

Lothos felt the stake enter his back in the last few inches of his fall. All he could do was scream in agony at the injustice of it all. He would never get to strip that smug blonde vampire of his title of Slayer of Slayers now, having died with only one of the supernatural champions accredited to him.

As Lothos turned to dust, one squirrel disengaged from the swarm, racing over to Buffy. He climbed her leg, around to her back, and then up and onto her shoulder, chattering the whole way. Merrick looked on still in shock. His Slayer had just used squirrels of all things to end the threat that was Lothos.

“And that is why squirrels are the natural world's greatest predators,” Buffy said with a nod and a bright smile. “They've got the biggest nuts.”


End file.
